Drown
by OfUnendingDreams
Summary: The pain is overwhelming, submerging Clary into a universe of unhappiness. It drowns her, so deeply until she cannot escape. Rated T and AU/AH.
1. Drown

Drown

**Massive A/N incoming, IMPORTANT!**

**A/N: Sorry if the above warning is a bit…rude:( Well, I'll explain:**

**This is a sort of drabble fic- there IS A PLOT, but the chapters DOES NOT go in order. I repeat, THEY DO NOT GO IN ORDER. Because they don't go in order, things will be spoiled. If you wish to know the order in which the chapters go, I will post an A/N at the end to tell you what is happening. Thanks!**

**P.S. This chapter was betaed by KissingFire! She's awesome:) Check her stories out…I'm sure you have already;)**

I saw him, his gleaming eyes widening at the sight of me. The long, discreet looks he would cast at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I saw him, timing his way out of the bathroom just so that he could "accidentally" bump into me, his hand softly brushing against my own. I saw him see _me, _the real me, the sweet and caring one. Not fake. Not plastic. Not like _her._

The freshly mowed grass tickling my bare legs, the air filled with the fragrance of the blossoming of tulips and roses, the fluffy, puff-like clouds dotting the light blue sky promised a perfect day. How wrong I had been.

She sat with him; her legs spread apart, her limbs intertwining with his, back pressed along chest. She draped her perfectly tanned arms around his neck, whispering something in his ear and eliciting a laugh. It was fake, though only I knew it. Only I could make him laugh a true laugh, the peals ringing out, like rays reaching down to warm every area of my heart. Only I could make him smile like...the way he was smiling at her.

Wait! But - That's not right. That's my smile.

Jace told me so.

_That's supposed to be my smile. _

I repeated the words in my head as if they were a mantra.

Yet, I could see him, his perfect, pink, full lips stretched across his teeth, a doting glance at _her. _Then, he let her, showing no signs of resistance, press her lips to his cheek, and instead of pushing her away like he should've, would've, his entire body relaxed, as if relishing it. Tinges of red appeared across just the apples of his cheeks. A blush. _No. _He turned away shyly, but then paused, as if reconsidering it, and responded instead by leaning down and pressing his mouth against hers, those stupid, damned, cherry-red lips of hers that were decked with lipstick and lip gloss, painted just like the rest of her was. Fake. Disgustingly perfect.

But he didn't know that.

The aching in my heart was too much to put into words. Every moment was like a shovel digging through my chest, tearing it to pieces, bit by bit. Tears sprang into my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I had to stay strong.

Agonizingly slowly, I tore my eyes away from the sight, and spun around, commanding each step to leave the tangled limbs. But it was not enough. My resolve slipped for just that one moment, and I whipped back around, towards them, my legs flying across and through the green, towards her. It was a blur; I was in a daze. My movements had slowed to a stop, right before them.

But, before I could control myself, before I could get my thoughts straight, before I could even sort out the billions of emotions zipping through my veins, I formed words. I could not hear the sound coming out, for there was a great flood rushing through my ears, obscured. But I could understand what it was that I'd said, somehow. The last things I thought I would ever say. I did not even know I could say those words. But I did.

_"I hate you."_

And it felt so _insanely _good to finally let the weight fall, to let it fall away. I let it all go, letting the tears spill down my cheeks, and letting my legs sprint away, faster than ever, going, going, gone. My hands buried themselves into my face, tears forming pools, sinking me. With nobody to save me.

**A/N: So depressing...based on a dream of mine. :( So, REVIEW! That would be great, thanks:)**


	2. Tears

**A/N: Hey…more stuff coming up…**

_Tears_

Jace paused midstride, only a yard away from Clary. Such a small amount of distance. He could close the distance in seconds, and he would've. But that was the past; he could not dwell on before, only _now _mattered. But he could not resist his heart. An ache grew in his chest as he recognized the figure before him, bent before his locker, her books scattered about, creating a semi-circled around her, surrounding her miniscule frame, which was racking with sobs.

Confusion befuddled him, but he knew one thing: _Go. _He took a step forward, but then hesitated. He couldn't. It was over, even he had said so. But his heart still ached for its missing half, the edges still jagged with the tear, not repairable by _anything._

Her fiery hair, the hair that he had once tangled his fingers in, the hair that he had brushed his lips across and felt its silky softness, the hair that he buried his face in with the scent of Clary all around; strawberries and crushed rose petals and of goodness; the hair that caught the rays of every beam of sunlight was covering her petite figure, her hands pulling at it savagely. She pulled it over her body, a tiny frame with such strength that none could overpower.

Yet, he had, and he regretted it every day. Every hour. Every second. Every moment of his life, he thought of his girl - wait. She wasn't his girl anymore. Yet, how he wished for it to be different. His heart bled every day, and he didn't know when his body would run out of blood. She made him _alive. _She brought him back.

Jace watched, frozen to the spot as he saw her before him. All those walls she had built, the shielding, the pretense strength, came tumbling down to their feet. She pulled her blazing red hair around her, her shoulders tense and her knees drawn up.

_She's so small, _Jace thought. Wait, what was he doing? Why wasn't he there with her, helping her? Doesn't he remember? Doesn't he know? Doesn't he care?

She's all he is, what makes him run every day. To know that she is well is what he needed. But she is definitely not well.

He picked up his common sense and courage, and raced towards her. He didn't care about anything else. Only the thought of her being hurt by anybody made him furious. Except, this time, he'd caused it. He had broken his promise.

He knew she would never forgive him, hell, he didn't even know if he was even helping her, but he had to at least try. He couldn't bear to live with the thought of her unwell.

He dropped his books on the ground, the heavy weight relieved from his arms. He encased Clary with his warmth, the heat seeping into her skin and warming it. She was so small; he had nearly forgotten how _right _it was to have her, her pressed so close to him that they were one, their hearts and souls intertwined so that they could never be separated.

But they were. And he did not even know what she thought of him anymore, that any feelings lingered. He doubted it, but he couldn't leave her be. He just couldn't.

He gently lifted her onto his lap, and she ceased her crying. Sniffling, she raised her hands away from her head, and turned to see who it was. He knew she had recognized him. He felt her stiffen in his arms, and he feared that she would run. That she didn't want him. But she did something so unexpected, and Jace was gladdened.

He felt her warm hands fling themselves around his neck. As if moved by some unseen force, his arms wrapped themselves around her slender body. She sobbed, hugging him closer.

He crushed her to him even further, and he caught her eyes. They betrayed all emotion, the pain displayed overwhelming, and he could not stop himself. He could not restrain her pull, their magnetism. He leaned forward, his warm breath fanning over her face.

He brushed his lips over her eyelids, them fluttering shut at the touch of him, like a pair of butterfly's wings. Tears traced crevices in her face, the face in which he had memorized every aspect of, and dreamt of every night. The face that he had so bitterly loved, yet he didn't know if they were anything anymore.

Nonetheless, he traced a tear track, the saltiness of the tears lingering on his lips for just that moment. Their gazes were locked, and Jace couldn't see anything else but the green of Clary's eyes. And he could see the hurt in there this time, and it pained him so.

But, she did not resist when he brushed his lips at the corners of her mouth, or when he pulled her gently on his lap and wrapped his arms securely around her. Nor did she protest when he laced his hands around her hands, rubbing circles in her smooth, soft skin, wiping away any stray tears.

And, together, simultaneously, they leaned forward, and their lips met. Lightning raced through Jace's body, as well as surprise. But neither of them stopped, and they continued to kiss. Their lips moved together in synchronization, for they knew each other so well. It was gentle, with no urgency in it; strange and familiar at the same time.

Clary reached up and wrapped her fingers into Jace's hair, tugging softly to elicit a moan from him. Tingles were left on Jace's skin from everywhere he made contact with Clary, and he knew that this was what they wanted, that this is what they needed.

**A/N: This is really sappy, as you've probably noticed, but I think it's sweet:) This was betaed by KissingFire! **


	3. Falling

_Falling_

**A/N: Fuck life. Sorry for the swearing in this chappie. **

"Hey Clary, wait up!" I instantly recognized the smooth, comforting voice. My heart began to thud faster as I turned to face him. I slowed my pace and Jace caught up, brushing ever so slightly against my arm. A rosy blush crept up my face while my arm was tingling from the contact.

"So…how was your weekend?" Jace asked. He ran a hand through his golden, glossy hair, distracting me from his question. My fingers itched to loop themselves through his silky soft golden curls. Sunlight accentuated his angular features, highlighting his jawline and cheekbones. So perfect…

Just realizing that Jace had asked a question, I blinked and began to blush furiously. Damn my pale skin. "Um…" I began to murmur. "Sorry what was your question?"

Jace's lips morphed into his signature smirk. "His Doucheyness" replied, "Hey, no need to be embarrassed – nobody can resist a taste of this." At that, Jace swept an arm down the front of his body, gesturing towards his well-toned abs and other…yummies.

"You're such as arrogant ass, Jace," I exclaimed, giving him a playful punch on the arm.

"It's what you love most about me, huh?" Jace said, a grin spreading across his face. He began to lean forward, backing me up against the wall. Everything seemed to disappear, everything except for Jace, Jace, and Jace.

Lemons and a warmer, muskier scent filled my nostrils, addling my thoughts until they turned to mush. My eyes were entrapped in Jace's gaze. I could almost name the colors in his eyes, amber, hazel, gold, peach, but soon enough, he was too close, too close for my brain to process anything.

My heart thumped faster and louder, and the rush of adrenaline and anticipation blotted out all other sounds. My lips involuntarily parted, and my eyes flickered to his lips, so soft and kissable. My breathing became faster and faster, my chest heaving up and down. He was closer, only a few centimeters apart. I fluttered my eyelids closed and leaned forwards, and

_**RING! RING! RING!**_

"Damn," I swore as my eyes flew open in shock. Jace and I had sprung apart to a more respectable distance.

Jace let out a low chuckle that caused miniature butterflies to flutter around. "Damn right you are. You'd better hurry, Shortcake – I think the bell just rang." And with that, Jace walked away, but not before dropping a small wink in.

I slid down the wall, groaning as I did so. The things he did to me… I stayed like that until I was sure my heartbeat, breathing, and skin color was normal again, processing the events that had flashed by so quickly. I wonder what would've happened if the bell…never mind.

All I knew was that I was falling, falling hard for Jace Wayland.

**A/N: I'm sorry it's so short! I'm just trying to get back into life and fanfic… I promise you a longer chapter next time! You guys really deserve better… Anyways, review? **


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